We have a terrorist on board, Ma'm !

I almost feel like a member of the search team for the lost / yet unidentified Malaysian Airlines MH370 air plane owing to the number of hours I spend researching and breaking my head about what could have possibly happened onboard. Yes, I get up in the middle of the night and hit the online search, just in case it was found when I was sleeping, maybe someone did spot it , maybe the plane sent some pings, maybe a passenger called back home , maybe ,maybe maybe!  And maybe, because I have an associated anxiety with flying, since early this year and it keeps reminding me of the "what-if?”, “Could that?” or “Would that?”

I have travelled to US, Europe and the Mediterranean and I consider myself quite the informed and planned traveler  –I keep track of the time zones, study the maps of the airports I am visiting, calculate my transit and security times, and back up movies ,books and enjoy my travels thoroughly. But this January, I got a real bitter taste of air travel.

Scheduled on a Goa- Bangalore at 04:00 am, I had a connecting Bangalore -Delhi flight at 08:20 am with two different carriers, because the first flight was just an hour long so I had ample time to switch. I know you already are visualizing me missing the flight, but hold on! This isn’t the sensational piece.  Yes, I did miss my first flight .No, I was not all “Goa –brained”, not even tipsy, was not headed straight from Anjuna beach (pun intended), not even lost shopping at the airport (for God’s sake, check the plight of the Goa Airport, before you hold me guilty for this one).

The flight was reported late by an hour because of operational reasons (as claimed by the airlines).Anyways, after boarding I was happy to rest my back and get some sleep (yeah ,cos  Goa makes you utterly relaxingly tired).I woke up 15 minutes later amid chaos, the security men all hurling up and down the aircraft. I glanced at one of ‘em from the nook of my hoodie and asked “What happened?”, “why aren’t we flying yet?”I froze at his answer. “There were possible terrorists on board!” he replied.
 I started to visualize the plane being hijacked or some of us being shown on television with a black cover and latest machine guns aimed at our head, or may be, they were going to kill us there and then.
 I wanted to run! But I could not even get up. I wanted to shout! But my vocal chords weren’t supporting me.

The airlines had received information of a possible attack and turns out, on this flight, a bunch of passengers in the last row, started chanting religious quotes in a very loud fashion and were acting suspicious. One of them, tried to hide under the seat and another snuggled his bag and would not let anyone touch it. Some of their friends were in the row ahead of where I was seated and they started to harass the crew too. They were shouting “the world shall see” .I was shit scared! My mind was numb.Ofcourse I was going to miss my connecting flight, but only if I reach there; safe that is.

The entire aircraft was filled with security and there were talks to call the commandos. What the heck! A few hours earlier, I was dreaming about reaching Delhi and having a scrumptious breakfast by my mom…but here I was amidst..possible terrorists, hanging on to dear life. The officials successfully off boarded the trouble makers and there after we took off, 2.5 hours later than scheduled.
It struck me only then, that I was certainly going to miss my connecting flight and I enquired the crew for assistance. They promised the passengers with connecting flights to be escorted at security and that the connecting carriers have been informed and that they would make alternative arrangements. Of course, they did not offer any help once we were there and at no one’s mercy. I bought a fresh ticket to New Delhi at a monstrous cost, but I was determined to have my money back because if it wasn’t their fault, it wasn’t mine either.

 What followed next was a 2 week email war with the airlines’ officials and me bombing their social media interfaces to get my fair deal and also apprise future passengers of the poor client relationship. Nevertheless, Thankfully I got my money back and an apology from the airlines. I still get up in the middle of the night, thinking what could have happened, if they were terrorists for real, maybe they were. Who knows? All scenarios of what could have happened flood my mind. May be that would have been my last holiday for life, or maybe they were regular people who were a little high in Goa, I don’t know. No one knows.

And here we have, families of the ill fated Mh370 passengers, waiting for some news, may be dim hopes in their hearts to see their loved ones again. May be a closure. Who knows? No one does.

Life is - packing boxes

I like to strike conversations, even with strangers, albeit those who look interesting to me. Well here is what, goes behind this unusual title.

I met this elderly, interesting couple, while looking for a place to sit at the Delhi Airport food court. The delayed flight announcements were getting seemingly boring already and checking official email was not interesting me either. I saw the man typing something from his notes on a notepad and the wife reading a book. Well, yeah that was interesting about them. They were not expressing dismay over the delayed flight and bad weather but just keeping themselves busy with what they liked to do at leisure.

I had to talk, ofcourse! So I initiated the conversation and they told me they were Belgians, touring some parts of India. They were quite excited and happy when I helped them decide, the places they should visit. While the janta flocked to grab the refreshments the airlines was offering due to flight delays, this couple explained me passionately about their career. They are in to Social service and have a zest for life. To me, they felt connected, yet allowed each other the space to express their own views. The best part was that they did not complain about India in any manner, in fact they did not crib about anything! They were positive souls. Robert and Inge.

I knew, it would be interesting to know how they met (I would not consider asking the same question to an Indian couple, because of the obvious answer), well I thought, during Social service but still blurted out the question. It turned out that they met at a festival, where Robert claimed to be doing some strange and weird dancing, but she thought it was interesting, in the year 1977.“Twenty nine years ago”, she smiled.

They were visiting India the second time, because Robert decided to accompany his daughter this time, who was scheduled to arrive two days later.

Shopping is a must to be discussed when you have two ladies on the table! Well we were at it, and she exclaimed, “I wonder where I am going to keep the stuff that I keep buying (this time she was referring to the famous shawls from India), there are boxes at my place that I haven’t opened for years, and we are now shifting to a new place”. The husband with his amused smile ,raised brows and hands in the air, replied “You see life is all about packing boxes, you pack stuff, your memories ,laughter and sorrow and then years later unpack them “, you collect  while on the journey called Life!”.He said “Observe, if you like something, hold on, observe some more and then take it in your life Kitty”.

I smiled, got my stuff together, proceeding to board my flight, and scribbled my contact number on a piece of paper. They were really happy and much appreciated the gesture. Why I did that? I don’t know. I did not take their contact information. They are back next week in New Delhi, and we hope to meet. J.I packed a new box today!

I bought Technology !

Ideally, I  have a lot of time to read and write en-route to office and back home, but I usually waste it -thinking, staring at the roads, getting ready (make up-shake up) and web surfing for dirt cheap deals in my city but I often buy, well none.

I am glad that I could manage to write today about my new baby, my Samsung Galaxy GT 9000, also christened as S i9000.Well, I spent the last few days researching about phones, because I had it enough from colleagues and friends coaxing me to buy a new phone and desert my old one. Yes! That was the silly reason I bought a new phone, as such I was happy with my Nokia 5233 which is a normal touch screen phone and was good for my basic necessities of calling, texting and tuning in to the Radio. But I, admit that my new born Samsung has made me happier.:)

Earlier, I was apprehensive to dent in my riches by 20K (INR), on  a depreciating asset (Gold of an equal price, would be quite an appreciating asset),also I would any day spend that kind of money rather holidaying and travelling. But against all odds of mental upheaval, I bought the phone, and am I happy? I am smiling at this wonder. Only, that I find myself not as smart as this phone. In fact it’s over smart. I say so because it acts like my spokesperson going to Google\ Yahoo \ Facebook retrieves my contacts and adds them to my contact list. Excuse me! My phone contacts, have to be just phone contacts and that is why I ask you to behave just like a phone, don’t try to be a robot elevating nuisance levels, to more than what my IQ can handle.

The single and double touch on touch wiz made me a bit crazy, making me miss-dial people; when I only wanted to reply to a text, again the over smart thingy, you see.

Alright, but it lets me do a whole lot of smart things, or may be things in smarter ways. The super amoled screen is sexy and gives you the kick of owning a high end gadget, on a cheap note- makes you show off.

The excitement I felt when my dad bought me my first mobile phone - the Nokia 2100, during my second year of engineering is still un paralleled to any feeling of buying a new gadget. It had a sexy white light and actually taught me the basics of a cell phone. The call charges were IN Rupees 3/minute if I remember correctly, and not everybody had a cell phone. People generally liked to receive calls than to make one, and if they were important, they would be restricted to missed calls. But I, insisted on making calls, showing off that I could easily afford it and that is what I had got the phone for –calling, I mean. So people’s tendency had not changed, the technology did though.

Now, some things about the “Samsung techie biggie baby”, biggie because of its 4 inch screen (why were you thinking dirty?), baby - because mine is a month old. It essentially, is a technology power pack.I am exploring it more everyday and following are my observations:

·       The first thing that strikes about this phone is the 4’ inch,super amoled screen and it’s light weight (about 100gms).

·       Apart from the regular stuff, the swipe text input feature brings a smile to my face, though it took me some time to learn, to use it.

·       Live wall paper option instills Life in the phone making it very attractive.

·       Navigation is very good and the response time to open applications is by far less (courtesy the 1 Ghz proessor).

·       There are seven home screens each of which can be customized by adding \ removing widgets from a given list.

·       Be careful with the data sync function when accessing Google \ Yahoo etc for the first time.It prompts for your opinion, the default setting of which is smugly “On”.

·       A-GPS (assisted GPS) is quick and responsive but it took me two days to understand it’s functionality and the requisite to use an internet connection, unlike what most web sites say – that you don’t need an internet connection.

·       Dual clock feature is quite handy, if you have calls with or are travelling to client locations.

·       It’s just like a mini computer which you can use curled up in your quilt,because the response time is too good.

·       Video and picture quality is much better than other phones in this range having a 5MP camera.

·       This phone gave me a lot of problems in the second week as people complained of noise \ disturbance whilst I spoke. I took it to the service center (rude staff, more on this later), who identified it as a firmware issue and upgraded it [Gingrrbread – 2.3.3 is the latest version].It worked fine for a few days, but this problem is occurring again.

·       The Aldiko ebook feature allows downloading and reading e-books (useful for avid readers like me).

·       All share, allows you to play files from your phone to another player and vice-versa.Memo allows me to quickly scribble and take notes(I am not sure if lower version mobiles had this earlier too).

·       Layar feature is something I have yet to explore.

        You can check and enable \ disable settings in the phone by using secret codes for this model (available on the ineternet).For technical specifications, click here.

This is what my one month old baby has showcased till now, more to be added later. I would recommend this phone but you can also check HTC Desire, Samsung SL 9003, Nokia N8 in this range. Happy phoning (not literally!).

Messy Me!

My day started on a lousy note, waking up late, getting ready late and cascading it to the level ,that I boarded my cab late, by about 5 minutes. On such occasions (read most of the times), I take away my breakfast and utilize the sleazy hour and half journey to savor on the food. So, I was just about doing that, but I guess I was sleepier than other days, hence in a mental mess.

I spilled the tea in the tumbler on my crisp white kurti and made an outrageous noise by tearing the newspaper (to fit to the window pane and in turn devoid my body of Vitamin D, but I am an anti-tanning freak so can’t help it).I misplaced my lap top bag and it made a bombastic impact (and sound) falling off the car seat when the driver hit the brake. Now, incidentally the driver had come for our pick up for the first time, and he made a face of sorts at me, clearly making me conscious.

Alright, I did behave myself, but for how long could I do that! My cab mate requested to switch off the a\c, which I politely wanted to oblige to, but she made a rut each time saying it was still cold and that the air conditioner was on. So, I hit the air conditioner button really hard to stop at one go (I actually wanted to show her, that it was off) but ended up with the button in my hand. Silly me! My cab mates, just giggled! The driver took the switch back from me and asked “chalana hai ya nahi?”(“want the a\c or not?”)

Now, I was too conscious already and just hoped to reach office without any further drama, but the messy day would just not take my request in. I thought the ordeal was over, but then as I was about  to step out of the cab, one of my ballerina slipped off L.The driver again looked at me and shook his head. What I was thinking? Oh God! ab is din ko boring bana do ji, bahut hass liye sab.(Lord ,please make this day a boring one now, everyone has had a hearty laugh already).

I, literally ran to the office building. Phew! What a messy morning it was. I still had the tea stains to wash off!

Act as – if

What do you on a day, loaded with inhuman heaps of work (something more than 4 hours is ridiculously inhuman), piles on your personal and professional to- do list and anticipation of annoying yet unavoidable conversations\ moments with your friends, family and relatives?

Well, we all have different escape sequences to our rescue. Mine, is something which I call the “act as- if” day. So last Thursday, was the recent one. Here is what happened.

I started my day watching “Perfect Stranger” on my way to office and was already making plans for the week end. But to my dismay!  as soon as I reached office, I was asked to show off team spirit traits(of which I  boasted in my assessment) by helping to take off some work load, from my colleague.

My live voice (LV) said: “You moron,don’t test my patience. Why did you commit to more than you could deliver on your own?”

I said: “Sure! We are a team.”

Obviously I had no intension of working so I started to act as-if, I suddenly remembered getting an email last night from my panicked client asking for a quick presentation and how bad my tooth ache was today and had my cousins’ kids to take out in the evening.

I said: “In spite of all this, I will surely help you. Probably, I will give my lunch a miss and refuse my cousin too. After all, we are a team.

Poor him, he fell for my bait and was quite uneasy (you could see that on his face),came up to me and thanked me for my concern, but said he will put in extra hours over the weekend and finish it and that I need to take care of the tooth ache and forwarded me numbers of some dentists. Bang on! Act as if! So I enjoyed that day in a meeting room watching videos on Youtube about “How to apply mascara and eyeliner like a pro!”

In the evening I had stuffed myself with a yummylicious egg roll, which I think, is one of the best ways to kill time plying from Gurgaon to Delhi in the torturous traffic, but I had to avoid a family drama of not having dinner, in front of my relatives. So, I fudged a bit of Kajal, made a sad face to  my enthusiastic cousin who proclaimed “Didi aa gayai” [sister has come ]as soon as I got off my cab telling her that I had a super busy day and that my shoulders were sore, but I would cheer them up in the cards game. Result: I, was requested to sleep, with a steaming coffee cuppa and a nice shoulder massage. Devil me! I was rather amused, act- as if and everything is sorted .

Actually, there is quite a list, of such tricks:

1.      Miss, something from your regular make up,for example the kajal, or shabby-comb your hair and you are sure to get this from your boss “Why don’t you go home early? You need some rest it seems”.

2.     Tell your kin you would love to be with them, but for the work.

3.     Act-as if, you are already, at the designated meeting point (when you are running late that is), take a few names of the nearby landmarks and make the other person feel guilty that you are waiting.

4. .   Act –as if, you don’t want to sound greedy, to gulp down your colleague’s "lip smacking delicacy"(only they think so) and start asking for the recipe when you want to avoid the horrible thing they have dished out and ask you to try it.

5.     Act- as if you feel terrible, having lost what your friend gifted you, when you actually have passed it on(as a gift) to another.

 Well, these are great for fun and escape to the useless ranter of people and life ,but for those who really care for you , Act as- if you love them always! even if you are irritated or annoyed at times.

He, the Protector; She, the Nurturer

I have read, heard and felt that distinct role definition, both for men and women is a misty cloud, so what is the fuss actually all about?

Who is a man? What are his characteristics? He is the protector, provider and  secret lover.

Who is a Woman? She is the nourisher, nurturer and the affectionate lover.

Well, I agree women these days are independent, so they can fend for themselves pretty well. They have been thinking, working hard and achieving a lot in life. They earn their bread and butter, have a mind, are aware of their rights and expectations too. But, who said she doesn’t need that tough shoulder to rest her head on? Just like, who said he doesn’t need that smile and a warm-in-a million hugs from her.

I am not a feminist, and absolutely not speaking from that perspective. She doesn’t need a man to feed her, but definitely those balls, who treat her like a princess, gaze at her lovingly, compliment her, care if her phone battery is charged and hold her hand softly. All she needs is that unexpected red rose,that special note or text to make her feel feminine and loved and she all melts in your armsJLikewise, what characteristics hat, does a man want his woman to don ? Someone who is caring, loving, nurtures and supports his dreams, he wouldn’t bother if she works late or is shopaholic, he would still love her if the basis are met. God has made us like that, women harbor children, nurture them and the men protect from the big bad world out there and be their MAN!

So, it is not the case that she doesn’t need him anymore. It is just an evolution for her to learn outside the home or relationship and grow but she longs for her man, always! Just like he can quarrel with her, be confused and unfocused, but her peck and a sweet rub at the nose can make all the difference to him.She could be applauded a million by the world, but she waits for that one expression,on his face to gauze his reaction to the food she prepared especially for him.

Man and woman are made to compliment not intersect .We can’t deviate from our basic roles; we can only unlearn and learn and spread the wings together. It is only healthy, to mark the basic expectations out of each other. It’s affection and appreciation women look for and the provider wants to be assured that you think he’s tough and he can come to you no matter what. Yes you can!

Never forget the “you look handsome” \ “you look beautiful”, because to each other they appeal the most to the eyes, and the heart:)

Sarcasm Met Right

“Had a good laugh, eh?” “What is so amusing about this?” lashed an upset colleague at another, last week when he insanely laughed at her while she was conversing with someone else. The most talked about thing for the next two three days? Yeah right!

I, was rather not surprised at the strong reaction. Newton's advocation “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction” is very true, Iwoujtellya.[expression from catcher in the rye - J.D Salinger].Probably she was upset with him over an earlier instance or maybe she could not take sarcasm, especially from him.

There are these people who think they are very witty, humorous and all. They think they are jovial :/ trust me, only they think so! Trying to throw in sarcasm and satire - in the face, usually making people uncomfortable, is only their second nature. They sometimes realize that, and most of the times, do not. They could sometimes, be obsessively introvert and self absorbed to the extent that they don’t acknowledge the need for a topic or time. The loner in such people seeks attention en-route sarcasm.

 I mean humor is a good thing, but using it to crack somebody’s nerves, is hell bad! You (We) could be victim to their repetitive and unrelated jokes and get crazy and all, but they refuse to demean that spirit. You (We) politely try to turn them down but to no vain. And then one day, when the pot boils, it blasts!

The other day, while my manager was introducing the team to a new member over lunch, casually said that I was in to writing. This new team member asked me what I write about. Before even I could reply, spat another colleague “She writes at tehelka.com”.People were amused, I wasn’t. I write because this is my creative instinct. I enjoy doing this. I express my thoughts this way. How is that a itch on your bum, Mr. Sarcastic? He had only “nothing much” to say when asked about his interests in life.

You see the point? They are low on self-esteem and self-worth, hence the ego gratification – “If we are nothing, we believe- so are others”! This guy is actually an over sized creature with no artistic bend; he takes in opportunities to take a dig at others, lest his own traits be talked about.

I have come across several such people in life and though they manage to add up on my friend lists on social networking sites, they are just about there, because we can never be friends. For God’s sake, were you a clown your previous life thachya think it’s your godamm duty to make people laugh?

People actually stop crossing paths, citing such jokers, from a distance. I wish I could just smell their presence and vanish.You read it right, ignore them! Big time! like plaque, or else start pulling them down .Laugh out aloud when they are midway and scream! "funny man hahahha, very funny"."How, do you manage to be so pathetic?"

It’s good to make people comfortable while interacting rather than whip sarcasm and uncalled for humor. Try to make them smile, not laugh, else you flunk miserably.

A sub category amongst them, are the boisterous and blabbering kinds. They can talk endlessly, about their meager achievements, their fulfillment of life and how they are heading far better than everyone around, in terms of money, cars, relationships and even s**.You should look at everyone's faces, around that time. They seem to be listening but are actually - not listening. Even if they are ,they have heard all the nonsense over few hundred times and know it's just to fulfill that imaginative, false ego which is shouting for some attention.

My two cents to the self proclaimed humorous souls (read sarcasts):      

1. We are better off without your stupid jokes and after a point; we hate you irrespective of the kind of person you are because you radiate negativity.

2. You seem like lousy asses to us whoga nothing better to do in life.

3. We think you are short on self confidence and this is your way of gaining attention.

4. We never laugh at your jokes, we laugh at you.

5. We snub you, condemn you and would never like to hold acquaintances with you.

6. You come across the most negative souls across a bunch. You are demon, you are!

7. Lastly - every now and then, I clean up my friend list – so YOU, yes YOU are gone gone gone.

Book & Book :)

I planned to start my day with a book called "Catcher in the Rye" by J.D Salinger but, got in to a good conversation about the books called "The Secret" and "The power" (both by Rhonda Byrne) with my cab mate so I postponed Catcher  for a later time.

My laptop had crashed this weekend, so today I had all the time in the world to read while it was being fixed.Today, was probably a books discussion day for me, my manager knows that I love reading so he was sweet enough to bring me this book called "Guns , Germs and Steel" by Jared Diamond.It is about how civilisations developed and how the hunters and the gregerians went on to capture different parts of the world.Interesting,Yes!.Not the genre I usually read but I liked the part I read and hence I think ,will start liking these kinds soon.

Also I think my daily walk is reaping benefits as I felt good about myself today.So I rewarded myself with a keema parantha and a Costa Royale.Good thing is , I realised that vanilla flavors are not for me, in fact anything that leaves a sweet flavor on my taste buds.Better thing is that I plan to gift myself a RayBan Jackie Ohh on loosing the first five kilos, plan is to reward myself with non fattening items.:)

Day was good on the whole and I feel God has been kind.Hope and faith in my heart.Good people receive good.Belief restored.

High on Life!!!

Here I am again, doing what makes my soul content.Writing is my first expression.

I am high on life these days.Purely quenching my life's thirst by doing things I , had only been thinking of for some time now.I am totally following my bliss and have found life to be much worthy.
I got two cute blue stud  piercings.Okay these are the fourth and fifth in number of the total brutalities that I have incurred on my tender ear cartilages till date.

I headed to the fucha market called K.Nags along with a friend.I had once become the victim of a joke when someone mentioned Kamla Nagar as K.Nags and I was clueless how the trend of christening places processed.Anyways, so we arrived at the Adarsh Body piercing (body piercing ran multiple thoughts in my mind, but there were no explicit pictures to support this art,sadly they don’t know the power of visualisations) and Tattoo art studio.

 A "I-know-it-all about your ear lobes baby" kind of man marked the positions to be pierced on my ear line and while I was just discussing with my friend ,as to whether I should get one or two piercings on the same day, he dug the silvery in to my ears and TUCK  I got a Blue stud,TUCK and I got  another one.I was surprised , he chalked out the position of the second one according to his whim.Anyhow the studs look both cute.

I felt as though I had come to deliver a baby and while till chatting with my significant half the doctor gives me a set of twins.Funny, I know!

It did not hurt that time but later in the evening, I felt like I need to be on local anesthesia.

All in all it was a good experience. Yes it definitely made me smile, made it a meaningful weekend as I accomplished one of the things on my "to do".

 Other than the piercings , have started an active healthy lifestyle regime,bought a Canon IXUS 130 , experimenting and learning to click good pictures.I have bought some nice herbal skin care products to pamper myself, got my room done for new furniture and decor,have started disliking pasta and started enjoying the tikka \ roasted delicacies more.

I am high on fruits,celebrations of life, smiling my heart out and loving myself this way.All my time is for me :).Pink Floyd  is my new addiction.
I am planning  to start up  a beauty and skin care blog soon.Sounds like a chick thingy but it would be more about the reviews on products (old & new) I have used and some of my personal experiences.Hope to fly on that.
My dream is to fly over the rainbow so HIGH!!!!!!!!!

Gobble Gobble

Do you ever wonder about the table manners that the people around you like your friends or colleagues possess? Or, even if, they possess any at all?

Well I have been observing this for some time now and I am baffled at how manner less people are. I am not talking about the high end fancy restaurant manners where it’s a sin to eat with the fork in the right hand.

There is this type who always make a rattling sound while chewing, it’s a curse to have to listen to them when they savor chips.Khaaach Khaaach…it feels as they have world war-I with the contents after they dig in to the packet, then they sleazily win out on one bite and begins world war II with the teeth and tongue. Loop till the last chip.

Wait! After that the packet is searched thoroughly for any left or broken pieces which were missed out, just like the cops search out for a thief in every nook and corner leaving the perimeters upside down.

Another clan is those who blow out at the hot dish on the table to cool them, making a roaring sound. Grow! Up Dude! this is how your parents fed you as an infant; you can forget it for a while.

You are at a restaurant with a bunch of people and you catch a person from your table checking out what the other tables have ordered. Holy embarrassing!!!

I have a few suggestions for the above and alike categories:

1.   Please don’t rape your pizza by spooning the toppings and then eating the bread in its disgruntled state.

2.   Don’t blow open your table napkin as if you are putting your clothes to dry.

3.   Ask!!! Don’t goof up a mezze platter as a “new Chinese dish”!!!

4.   The smallest spoon is to used as a tea spoon; don’t use it to dig in to the dish straight.

5.   Don’t cut your food in to small pieces all at one go as if you are serving your cat.

6.   Make sure the person you are foot teasing (below the table obviously) is your girl friend \ boy friend.

Bon appetit!